What you hear is not a test...

I've been on the road a lot recently, blogfriend. Let's discuss it.

KG, a former apprentice, and I hit the road on Thursday night to go audition at the American Shakespeare Center. It was a pretty long drive from Atlanta to Staunton, but hardly the longest I've ever driven for an audition. Plus, the company was good, so it didn't seem quite as long as it could have.

But, that isn't the interesting part. I got there and was in a group of six others, five women and one man. We all did our monologues. I didn't have time to show off and be all, "Well, actually I memorized a monologue for each of the four shows you're doing next season." I bounced back and forth between Ford and Hotspur. I ended up, of course, on Hotspur. Ford would have afforded the ability to make more contact with the audience, but Hotspur is...you know, Hotspur. I can't help it. He had me approach it from a different standpoint and do it like Romeo trying to impress Juliet. I thought I had a cute little lame moment on, "God's me, my horse!"

After that, we read some scenes. I was paired up with a short haired blonde girl whose name I cannot remember to save my life. Eh, anyway, we did Beatrice and Benedick with a couple of different permutations. I only stole one thing from Moe (the scratching motion on "predestinate scratched face.") and, frankly, it was a pleasure to get up there and do Benedick. It's a dream part, but I've got a couple of years to play it.

The big moment came at the end, though. The artistic director said that anyone who wanted to sing, may sing a few bars. I sat and watched in abject horror as every single other person in the room got up to sing. Not just sing, but sing well. I'm not much of a singer. I can carry a tune, but I'm not what you would call...umm...a soloist. The artistic director even made a comment along the lines of, "Oh, wow, it looks like everyone is going to sing." After the last person, he looked at me and said, "Well, are you going to sing anything for us?"

A beat passed and I said, "No, but I can drop a phat rhyme for you."

Bemused, he told me to go ahead and do it. I got up and said, "If I could (Ed. Note - although KG SWEARS she heard me say "F*** it.), I'd like to get everyone to clap their hands." I got them to clap a beat and busted out the first verse of Rapper's Delight.

Yeah, that's right. I rapped at my Shakespeare audition.

It was a high, because if I'm going to fall on my face, I'm gonna fall going for the brass ring. It wasn't a stunt. It wasn't foolish...if I was BAD, it would have been foolish, but it was tight like the night, baby. I like to think I showed them three very different facets of my personality, between Benedick, Hotspur, and Wonder Mic.

Chances are that I won't get in, just by playing the odds. They only hire something like eight non-eqs, but here's hoping they'll remember me. After all, I'll see 'em at UPTA.